Things I probably shouldn’t say to my girlfriend’s grandparents

1. Damn
2. My result for that “What religion are you?” quiz gave me a 4% match with Catholicism
3. The result was the same for your girlfriend

Things I’d say if I had 15 minutes of airtime on Dutch television and I wouldn’t have to account for my actions later:

1. Some of the singers are great, your talent show is just really, really dumb.
2. Herd behavior is the first phase of personal decay
3. I wanted Obama to win for the most obvious reason, and it wasn’t Bush or the war.

People I’d love to give that one last push to make them fall hard in life:

1. Anne Hathaway
2. That deranged Jesus guy riding around on a mobility scooter all over town
3. That one roommate who barfed all over the bathroom floor and didn’t clean it up

Books I’m glad I couldn’t finish

1. Jill Mansell’s body of work
2. Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert
3. Dreamcatcher by Stephen King

Nicknames I currently have on rotation for myself

1. Clean Ya Teetha
2. Zinzy Dorens van der Mellencamp Huizenbroeksteren
3. Ice Z