What a pleasant week. After making the decision to take a leave of absence from everything I had been doing (as a member as well as a leader) at All Saints Amsterdam, calm began to return. The days don’t begin and end with a spiked heart rate, and I can devote time to the things that require my attention before everything else: my private life, my home life, and my work life.

Introduction

For years, years I tell ya, I’ve been telling myself I need to write better week notes. “Better” refers to their frequency and to a lesser extent to their content. I never seemed to have found the pace to spend my Sunday afternoons sipping tea and reflecting on the week gone by.

I just noticed in my RSS feed that Rach Smith is adopting a new habit of writing Dave Rupert-inspired month notes. I thought about my week notes, and immediately heard the voice of my wise mother-in-law saying “why suffer?” And why suffer indeed? Today, I’m writing my very first Vibe Check.

• In the evenings, we’re continue our journey with Better Call Saul (2015-2022). Midway through season 3, it’s finally beginning to get a firm grip on our attention span again. I loved the debut of Gus Fring, the way he lingers in the background, out of focus, voiceless, before landing, so to speak. I find this one of the finest roles in television history.
• Less reading this week.
• Struggling with discernment this week: what do I do when following Jesus when it gets hard interferes with my boundaries and sense of safety
• Beaming at work
• Beaming at home
• Sunday is amazing. First, I meet Kélian for a drink at Bar Bario. I met him at Omek and was inspired by his relationship to money. He gave me great tips and a few resources to boot. I aim to make 2024 the year in which I learn to be more comfortable in my relationship with money.
• Sunday continued at Bar Buka, where I met Erin for a drink. She, in an act of bravery the level of which I will never possess, left her Canta unlocked. I was able to open the door and take out the keys. I admire people who have such faith in the city of Amsterdam and the people who inhabit her.
• Erin and I eventually made it to church, which was surprisingly full. I met Rev. Jacque Williams, who is apparently running a great thing over in the part of the country I tend to avoid.

• IT IS HOT STOP CLIMATE CHANGE NOW. I don’t think I’ve seen hotter days this year than week 36. Getting out of a hot shower and feeling equally wet fifteen minutes later. Lemonade barely wanting to walk outside. The sun beaming so feriously we can’t keep the windows open. Thank you, Jesus, but please make it cooler.
• There’s something sweet about seeing Amsterdam through the eyes of friends from abroad. On Tuesday, I couldn’t have been more excited to welcome my Vine & Fig friends Pickles and Patrick to the city. They’re two Irish Catholic gay men named Patrick, so we try to make it work any way we can.
• I was saddened by the fact that Jacob, Patrick’s husband, couldn’t make it because he had to stay home and help their dog Jude recover from surgery. All week, I felt like we were missing a limb.
• I joined the V&F leadership team in mid 2020, and we’ve been growing a friendship since. The moment I saw them I knew we were going to get along perfectly in real life, too. Finally getting to embrace them felt like to most natural thing in the world.
• Their AirBnb, which is located just off of Vijzelgracht, was absolutely ridiculous. A three-bedroom penthouse overlooking De Pijp, enormous backyard below, include Swedish saunas and swimming pools. This is how the other half lives.
• I made time to hang out with the Patricks every day they were here, which took us to sweet places. I took them to Takeichi, my favorite ramen place where I always order anything but ramen, and to Studio K, where they met Lemonade, who chewed through her leash in what seemed like a quiet moment.
• On Friday, we went cheese and wine tasting at Abraham Kef in Noord. It reminded me of how much I love cheese. It was the first thing I was able to say after I learned to say “momma”. I want to make my own cheese.
• After dinner at Thuskomme on Saturday we took silly mugshots with my Polaroid camera.
• It is truly wonderful to spend time with the Patricks, with whom I weave in and out of conversation topics like it’s nobody’s business. One minute we’re talking about sex toys, and the next about the Book of Job. Knowing they were going to be leaving made me cry a little bit, but then I remembered our friendship had survived without physical get-togethers for three years already.
• On Friday, I met with Mpho to chat church business. I’ve been discerning all Summer about how I would want to be involved in the church now that it’s becoming a church plant, and I decided maintaining the website and social media was a commitment I could make.
• On Sunday, All Saints held her homecoming gathering after the Summer break. Kyle Rader, our new minister, was there for the first time. I liked the elder millennial vibe he brings to the service. It was intimate and lovely, although I seriously missed the pianist. After the service, we gathered for a potluck dinner in the bishop’s garden next to the church. I showed the logo ideas I had been working on, to friendly compliments.

• It snowed a few times this week and I was as baffled as I always am to see it happening in March. I don’t have a great understanding of what the weather’s supposed to do in a given period of the year.
• After two weeks of cocooning, we’ve finally been taking Lemonade out to various places. I aim to take her out at least once a day, usually to the park or a walk around the block. We also visited my favorite coffee place twice. It’s wonderful to see she’s such a relaxed and curious dog.
• This was my last full week off. I still have a few days left and then I head back into work. I don’t know how people work after they first got a puppy, and I’m grateful I was able to take this time off.
• I attended service at All Saints again. It was an intimate gathering with a rather inspiring reflection comparing “giving up” to “letting go” for Lent. I feel like I never get Lent right: I drop in too late, don’t see it all the way through, and this always makes me feel like I’m not a proper Christian. Regardless, it’s great to become acquainted with All Saints. Its focus on inclusivity gives me goosebumps.
• Lemonade met the other corgi in the building, Lalo. At only ten weeks older than she is, he towered over her as they played, but she didn’t let that bother her. He was so sweet playing with her, using his strength in a very gentle way. Here’s to hoping they’ll become best friends.
• Annelie came over for tea and lemon punitions. She had been gone for a few weeks and I had missed her. She’s Lemonade’s godmother, and as they met in real life for the first time it was clear to see why this is so.
• Anja started her ceramics course at Studio Pansa. On Sunday she had her second class, and she took pictures. She’s such a fast learner, and the pots she made came out beautifully. I’m proud of her.

I offered this confession as part of my confirmation into the Mennonite Church of Haarlem. While I recognize a few details that make me chuckle or cringe, much of what I believe today is reflected in the words below. At the time, I believed this church was the most at-home I would ever be able to feel at church. After I moved away to Amsterdam, and after years of being a spiritual nomad, I discovered All Saints.