Everything about Friends
Terms of inclusion, short and long
My coworker Mattia is a gem; a man of deep thought and good ideas. He asked me today if I knew of any writing on the topic of language learning and inclusion.
One trait common in Dutch speakers (at least in the Randstad) is that, as soon as a non-native speaker joins the conversation, they will switch to English. I can speak only for myself: it’s an act of inclusion, of liberation. I want expats to feel at home in the Netherlands, and autonomous in their manner and pace of learning Dutch. Forcing them into it over lunch, which is a time to relax, is not something I’m fond of doing.
Week 36: Homecoming
- IT IS HOT STOP CLIMATE CHANGE NOW. I don’t think I’ve seen hotter days this year than week 36. Getting out of a hot shower and feeling equally wet fifteen minutes later. Lemonade barely wanting to walk outside. The sun beaming so feriously we can’t keep the windows open. Thank you, Jesus, but please make it cooler.
- There’s something sweet about seeing Amsterdam through the eyes of friends from abroad. On Tuesday, I couldn’t have been more excited to welcome my Vine & Fig friends Pickles and Patrick to the city. They’re two Irish Catholic gay men named Patrick, so we try to make it work any way we can.
- I was saddened by the fact that Jacob, Patrick’s husband, couldn’t make it because he had to stay home and help their dog Jude recover from surgery. All week, I felt like we were missing a limb.
- I joined the V&F leadership team in mid 2020, and we’ve been growing a friendship since. The moment I saw them I knew we were going to get along perfectly in real life, too. Finally getting to embrace them felt like to most natural thing in the world.
- Their AirBnb, which is located just off of Vijzelgracht, was absolutely ridiculous. A three-bedroom penthouse overlooking De Pijp, enormous backyard below, include Swedish saunas and swimming pools. This is how the other half lives.
- I made time to hang out with the Patricks every day they were here, which took us to sweet places. I took them to Takeichi, my favorite ramen place where I always order anything but ramen, and to Studio K, where they met Lemonade, who chewed through her leash in what seemed like a quiet moment.
- On Friday, we went cheese and wine tasting at Abraham Kef in Noord. It reminded me of how much I love cheese. It was the first thing I was able to say after I learned to say “momma”. I want to make my own cheese.
- After dinner at Thuskomme on Saturday we took silly mugshots with my Polaroid camera.
- It is truly wonderful to spend time with the Patricks, with whom I weave in and out of conversation topics like it’s nobody’s business. One minute we’re talking about sex toys, and the next about the Book of Job. Knowing they were going to be leaving made me cry a little bit, but then I remembered our friendship had survived without physical get-togethers for three years already.
- On Friday, I met with Mpho to chat church business. I’ve been discerning all Summer about how I would want to be involved in the church now that it’s becoming a church plant, and I decided maintaining the website and social media was a commitment I could make.
- On Sunday, All Saints held her homecoming gathering after the Summer break. Kyle Rader, our new minister, was there for the first time. I liked the elder millennial vibe he brings to the service. It was intimate and lovely, although I seriously missed the pianist. After the service, we gathered for a potluck dinner in the bishop’s garden next to the church. I showed the logo ideas I had been working on, to friendly compliments.
What Pride means to me in 2023
Nienke, Mehdi, an anonymous friend, and I attend the annual Pride March. It’s the city’s first two-week Pride festival in Amsterdam, each week organized by a different organization. With a naturally intersectional and radically-inclusive interpretation of the term “queer”, I am pleased Queer Amsterdam is taking care of the annual Pride Walk.
On Friday, I tell colleagues over office drinks why we still need Pride. The fact that I had to write “an anonymous friend” instead of the name of a person I love and admire illustrates my point beautifully.
I’m humbled by learning that my words are the introduction of someone else’s biography.
Just noticed this UI change, Barry, I like it!
Earlier this week I found myself in line at a coffee place giving my friend a very passionate speech in response to her question “why would anyone have a website?”. I always marvel at people who don’t share this sentiment with us, James. Nice to meet you!