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As a design mentor, one of the things I encounter constantly is the stark difference between how some men and women speak of their own competencies. “May you be granted the confidence of a mediocre white man” is a phrase I utter at least twice a week. This morning, waiting for my local coffee spot to open, I saw a common occurrence of that level of confidence: somebody walked in before it opened, saying that, if undesired, the baristas would kick him out anyway. He returned three seconds later. I mused out loud, in front of him and two other friendly regulars who are themselves mediocre white men, that I was thinking about the thing I say to all my female and non-binary design mentees. I feel that my ability to do so in this social context proves that I, too, finally have the confidence of a mediocre white man. All this being said, though, I’m beginning to develop an appreciation for this alternative: “May you be granted the confidence of a disabled queer Muslim woman who, despite everything, dances in the rain.”

I am a Black person with privilege My privilege makes me uncomfortable I don’t want to think about racism My childhood experiences did more damage than I realized There are so many things I’ve said “yes” to that required a “no” (Continue)

The world beyond the gender binary is vast and diverse. As a queer facilitator, I’ve come to appreciate the value of writing my pronouns behind my name when it shows up in a video call or on Slack. (Continue)