Updates
This website contains a large feed of long-form posts and fleeting updates going back to the mid-aughts. Some of them are thoughtful, others written in a hurry, left fleeting in a folder. I keep them here to remind myself that life is ever-evolving, as am I.
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A job for me, part two: good enough
A late submission to April’s IndieWeb Carnival, and thoughts on system-thinking in the product world -
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A job for me, part one
Yesterday, as I was going through what seemed like the most severe after-lunch dip in recent memory, I logged on to ADPList to meet a designer from Denmark. It’s miraculous, the effect unexpected kindness can have on the body. After 30 minutes, I skipped out of my meeting booth ready to take on the rest of the afternoon, which I did, and it rocked. Here’s a summary of her booking request: -
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Dog whistles
Something is happening in the neighborhood. It’s not a new thing, it’s just more vibrant now, for me at least, I think. My friend, while walking his dog, is assaulted around the corner. Three kids beat his eye socket with a metal bat, shattering it. Various cameras film it. Nobody is caught. To watch someone develop PTSD right in front of you. Brunch with new acquaintances in the neighborhood, fellow corgi owners. -
A year at work, 2024 edition
In a fortnight, I’ll be celebrating one year of employment at Gerimedica, the healthcare technology provider I was keen to join last spring. Coincidentally, I’m working on one of my professional development goals right now: turn coworker feedback into concrete goals for the second quarter. It seems a fitting moment to reflect on the past year as a whole. As expected, healthtech is the bomb diggity I’ve never made a secret of this: Gerimedica had me at hello. -
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Introducing This I Do Know
Isn’t it one of God’s cruelest jokes, Manuele, our ability to feel imposter syndrome? When I read your post ā late, obviously, because RSS feeds and I will never quite be best friends ā I was struck by your openness on the matter. You feel like you don’t know shit. Samesies! I suppose most of us suffer from imposter syndrome every now and then, even the famous ones to whom we compare ourselves: -
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Accessibility on the small web
The March edition of the IndieWeb Carnival is about accessibility on the small web. The host, orchids, touches on a note-worthy design pattern found in this fine corner of the Internet: that of artsy, personal websites that emulate technology of old, particularly the early days of Internet. The fair question orchids poses is: how does this design pattern affect people with particular accessibility needs? Here I am. I always say that I like returning from church with more questions than I brought in. -
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Led children’s church yesterday, went to drop off drawings and a plant next door to the woman who gave us bread when I had forgotten to bring bread for the host. The kids are adorable and so smart and inventive, and I’m yet again reminded of this: I’ll never be a parent, or a primary school teacher.
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I’m intrigued by what’s happening here. When I saw Sydney’s red carpet look I thought of Billie Eilish’s “coming out” as a bombshell. I wonder if a part of me is offended. I don’t think so. I don’t, by the way, think it’s crazy that those far right articles celebrating Sydney’s outfit as the end of woke were written by women.
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Terms of inclusion, short and long
My coworker Mattia is a gem; a man of deep thought and good ideas. He asked me today if I knew of any writing on the topic of language learning and inclusion. One trait common in Dutch speakers (at least in the Randstad) is that, as soon as a non-native speaker joins the conversation, they will switch to English. I can speak only for myself: it’s an act of inclusion, of liberation. -
The surfer
The February edition of the IndieWeb Carnival is about digital relationships. Manuel Moreale suggested we reflect on what these relationships mean to us. He kept the assignment intentionally vague, giving us three forms of digital relationships we may take as inspiration. Here I am. The surfer, she tells me she met a woman at a 40s singles mixer. The type of woman who reschedules her flight home to Colorado so that they can have sushi in California. -
After adding myself to App Defaults I took the liberty of importing the available list of RSS feeds into my reader. It was a mistake. I spent the weekend pruning my subscriptions, hoping I won’t be presented with 200+ updates a day in the form of micro blog content. A few of the new feeds immediately struck my fancy, though, among which was Mandaris Moore, one of the few Black people I’ve come across on the IndieWeb. It’s always good to see the African diaspora represented somewhere.
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Just about any app can read it, a year and a decade from now, I’m sure, and then some. That’s more than you can say about diary apps and services, they could suddenly disappear, like the Ello social network did.
Look at that, I had completely forgotten about Ello, but I felt its obscure echo when I read about Daft Social last week.
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Enjoying a cozy Sunday indoors with Lemonade. We took a long walk in the park, where we met Sammie, Maat, and Hovis and Norman. I can tell she’s becoming a little less responsive to my cues, which tells me she’ll be going into heat soon. I’m meeting Erin before Church. I gave myself a nice two-strand twist for the first time. Life is good.
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Vibe check no. 1
Introduction For years, years I tell ya, I’ve been telling myself I need to write better week notes. “Better” refers to their frequency and to a lesser extent to their content. I never seemed to have found the pace to spend my Sunday afternoons sipping tea and reflecting on the week gone by. I just noticed in my RSS feed that Rach Smith is adopting a new habit of writing Dave Rupert-inspired month notes. -
Defaults: early 2024 edition
Inspired by App Defaults, this is a list of the main tools I frequently use these days. Type App(s) Experience Mail client Spark š Mail server Various š Notes Obsidian š To do Goodnotes š Photo shooting Camera.app, Polaroid Now+ 2 š Photo editing Snapseed š Photo management Various š Calendar Calendars š Cloud file storage Dropbox š RSS Reader š Contacts Contacts š Browser Chrome š Chat Messages, Whatsapp š Bookmarks Chrome, website š Read it later Reader š Word processing Obsidian, Google Docs š Spreadsheets Google Sheets š Presentations Google Slides š Shopping lists Obsidian š UX design Figma š Meal planning N/A - Budgeting YNAB š News N/A - Music Spotify š Audio books Audible š Podcasts PocketCasts š Password management redacted Code editor, desktop VS Code š Code editor, mobile Working Copy š Maps Google Maps š AI assistant N/A - Reading log Goodreads š White noise Better Sleep š Prayer Lectio 365, Prayer Day By Day š Media triggers Does The Dog Die? -
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Flutter
The January edition of the IndieWeb Carnival centers on positive internalization. foreverliketh.is suggested we seek out positive memories, “memories that remind you of the good parts of yourself; the facets of your being that you want to see more of, that you wish to nurture and grow.” Here I am. There’s a weekend-long dance workshop in town. While she’s certainly not our first house guest, the situation feels brand new. -
- Structured menu as a grid with
space-x
between - Added active links to the menu (using Harry’s solution)
- Added
Updates section, with pagination (using
StaticMania’s solution) and an
RSS feed, using timestamp with
slugorfilename
notation for the permalink - Updated Start page
- Added a bookmarks page, which should probably become a bit sexier at some point
- Structured menu as a grid with
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We started watching the fourth season of True Detective (2014-), which seems, so far, like an enticing storyline, great acting, and the firm reminder that Jodie Foster’s ultimate role is as a homicide detective.
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Week 3: Beaming
In the evenings, we’re continue our journey with Better Call Saul (2015-2022). Midway through season 3, it’s finally beginning to get a firm grip on our attention span again. I loved the debut of Gus Fring, the way he lingers in the background, out of focus, voiceless, before landing, so to speak. I find this one of the finest roles in television history. Less reading this week. Struggling with discernment this week: what do I do when following Jesus when it gets hard interferes with my boundaries and sense of safety Beaming at work Beaming at home Sunday is amazing. -
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Week 2: Omek
This week marked the week I got back into the swing of things at work. I tend to find the holiday season quite boring because things slow down quite a bit. Now that people are returning from their winter break, my to do list is filling up again with exciting projects, opportunities for collaboration, and research endeavors. As usual, a conversation with my manager reminded me how much I love my job. -
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Week 1: Miracle mornings
A somewhat quiet week, mostly spent at the office because Anja’s on winter break, although I did enjoy spending time at Coffee Company Oosterdok as well. Working without my regular laptop stand and wireless keyboard and trackpad doesn’t feel great for my body, but they make great coffee. I seem to have found my way back to the Miracle morning method. While I cringe at the very notion of self development, it has been great to start my day in quietude. -
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I edit my biography in a community app for Black professionals. Other people use the flags of their heritage, and I decide to do the same. Which one goes first, š³š± or šøš¹? I was born in the Netherlands, and consider myself not Dutch per se but definitely an Amsterdammer. Truth be told, I’ve never been to SĆ£o TomĆ© and Principe, and the parent who hails from there left when he was ten. I wonder, brushing my teeth before bedtime, whether it’s appropriation for me to use the flag. And then I think of all the brown and Black faces I know, doing just the same, and entirely dignified and correct in doing what they do. It’s one of the prices of growing up Black in a white environment: I wonder when I’ll stop feeling like I’m the racist.
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Hey dear Desi, a bit late, but as promised, here are some resources that may be helpful when diving deeper into UX:
- Don’t Make Me Think, The Design of Everyday Things, and 100 Things Every Designer Needs to Know About People are books most UXers would recommend. In addition, Interaction Design Foundation has a great overview of books.
- The Guide to Design by uxdesign.cc is a great starting point
- Career Foundry has a nice overview of How to become a UX designer
- UX Matters is perhaps my favorite resource on UX topics
- UX Research Field Guide by UserInterviews.com. It focuses purely on research practice, but it’s a comprehensive overview of all things involved in focusing on the U in UX.
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New Year’s Eve is sweet. I spent the morning at Coffee Company Oosterdok working on my website. The girl barista and the guy who came to take over her shift are apparently dating. He’s got a full mullet and a geeky mustache. It’s that season of fashion again. He was the type of soft masculine only Gen Z-ers can be. At 36, I seem to be developing a habit of noticing how much I’m no longer an 18-year-old. Everyone who seems my age addresses me with the formal “u”. I also saw S in the street. It’s the first anniversary of her father’s passing and she was wondering out loud what could properly trigger an ugly cry. She offered me a red velvet “oliebol”, which looked like a fried dog treat. No thank you, ma’am. A friendly face in the neighborhood knocks on our window and tells me she has enjoyed getting to know us a little more, and that she hopes to be in touch more in 2024. 6pm and pizzas enter the oven. It took only 15 minutes for us to finally get into Better Call Saul. I expect I won’t even make it until midnight. Happy New Year!
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- Updated the general UI of this website by adding a softer background color
- Added a splice method I used earlier to photo posts, which allows me to alter the size of the images served through Cloudinary
- Merged
_notes
contents into my_posts
folder so that my dated content is organized in a single place (this is convenient for pagination purposes) - Styled the tags page
- Updated layout of an individual tag page so that short notes and posts are grouped accordingly
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Annual review at 36
In one way or another, the number 36 has felt like a milestone birthday for a long time. As a tween, I imagined the glamorous autonomy that came with being 36 because I was hooked on watching the televised adventures of a foursome of privileged White women in Manhattan. Now, finally at 36, it feels important that I could’ve had a child as an adult who would now also be an adult. -
A lifetime without representation
My friend and I reunite after 18 months. I missed him dearly, but once we sit down for ramen we can both tell it’s like we were there yesterday. I talk about him often. He’s the person who was so discombobulated by Dutch white innocence, that he felt more comfortable going back to the Middle East to live in the closet. He’s doing better now. No more crack, and the spinning class is surprisingly inclusive. -
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Week 47: Geert Milders
Covid It’s curious to see my response to a bout of Covid is not much different from what it was in early 2020. Despite a negative test, symptoms tell me everything I need to know. I have to remind myself every day this week that, given the regulations, I’m not obliged to quarantine. Nevertheless, Anja and I are both barely able to walk the dog. I work half days, and spend my afternoons in bed with hot water bottles. -
Week 46: Osama
I’m making an attempt this week to make my weeknotes more of a personal record rather than a performance of how exciting my week is. What I’ve written answers the question I might ask myself seven years from now: what was life like this week? I went on the road for on-site research on Tuesday, and was delighted by the particular nursing home that we visited. It seems many Dutch healthcare organizations have understood that environments that resemble the real-life environments of patients contribute to their overall wellbeing. -
The artificial borders of climate activism
Yesterday at the Climate March, someone shouted “From the river to the sea, Palestine will be free”. It was an unfortunate thing. A clean example of the climate changing instantaneously among 85,000 activists. I was there for four reasons: My definition of God is “science is indescribably beautiful and we must respect her” I can’t think of a more regrettable waste of tax money than having to spend it on health issues we can prevent if only we take better care of our environment I have a weak spot for an activist friend, who, through stealth influencing, had instilled in me a deep sense of FOMO about the event The Dutch carnival season had kicked off on November 11, and I was in the mood for a parade The phrase was understandable coming from the Palestinian woman. -
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Sermon
I delivered this sermon today at All Saints Amsterdam. A few months ago, along with much of humanity, it seemed, I went to see Barbie. Walking out of the theatre and forming an opinion on this intro to feminism, I renamed the film to a title which I will use again today: “Blueprints: a pamphlet against simplicity”. It’s nice to see all of your faces here today. I’ve met most of you before, but let me make an official introduction. -
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Week 39: Small escapes
First of all: not a great week. I continue to struggle to notice when I feel stresed or overwhelmed, and it never fails to result in my body giving me a clear sign. On Monday evening, in the midst of a busy work month, my body said “SIT. DOWN.” I needed undtil well into the weekend to feel myself again. One of the signs my body knows to give it a very mild version of conversion disorder: I lose the ability to listen to a conversation while I walk without feeling very dizzy. -
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Film club S01E01
Yesterday, I attended the very first gathering of FC de Filmfanaten, a brand-new film club that my friend Jolien started. There were four of us, and we discussed the movie I was proud to have suggested: Talk To Me. I love speaking about films with others, and particularly with this diverse group of people. Everyone brought a completely unique perspective to the film, one brought film industry insights while the other had thoughtful ideas that I hadn’t considered. -
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Week 37: Rosh Hashanah
Cooler temperatures! After the hottest week I’ve experienced in months, things were back to comfortable Summer weather. By the time I’m writing this the sky is gray and it’s raining, but this week’s weather was cheerful and moderate. On Tuesday and Wednesday I gave two big UX workshops at week to help coworkers understand how they can use UX in their daily work. I’ve been giving workshops for well over a decade, always trusting my instinct to figure out what a particular group or context required. -
Week 36: Homecoming
IT IS HOT STOP CLIMATE CHANGE NOW. I don’t think I’ve seen hotter days this year than week 36. Getting out of a hot shower and feeling equally wet fifteen minutes later. Lemonade barely wanting to walk outside. The sun beaming so feriously we can’t keep the windows open. Thank you, Jesus, but please make it cooler. There’s something sweet about seeing Amsterdam through the eyes of friends from abroad. -
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Two things true
I saw a guy on Monday that I went on a date with once. It was one of those whimsical dates. We had fish by the sea. It felt like coming home a little bit. I think the world was trying to introduce me to something for which I wasn’t ready yet. Looking back, that date, more than the others, prepared me for Anja. Looking back through butterfly effect glasses, it might as well have been him. -
Week 34: Somerlust
Met Tim Bleeker at Somerlust Park on Tuesday, a get-together that started as “chilling in the park”, and which turned into grabbing a drink at l’Osteria. The venue is not one I can recommend. When requesting a bigger table because more people would be coming, the waiter scoffed at us. Then he closed the red velvet roped entrance. Later, his colleague told me people often just barge into the venue, ignoring waiters' requests. -
I’ve updated some things around here over the weekend that I think are worth documenting. There are three major changes:
- Status update at the top of the page
- Content is now served through a submodule
- Blogroll
I love Mu-An’s status update so much I had to have it for myself. I like the idea of fleeting messages, blurbs shouted into space, with no proper archive. I almost fool myself into thinking nobody will be able to hold me accountable for what I publish there, but we all know that’s not true.
I enjoy writing Densely-linked content, and for this reason it’s better for me to have all of my writing in a single space. My space of choice at the moment is Obsidian, and thanks to Github Publisher, an Obsidian plugin, and Tania Rascia’s sweet writeup on submodules, I now technically don’t have to be in my code base to publish content anymore.
I’ve taking the liberty of hacking together the most obscene of deployment strategies: every time I update my status, Netlify builds my site and checks the latest updates of the submodule, publishing any new notes, posts, or pages in the process. I am not ashamed.
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All the teachers around me are slowly getting nervous anticipating the start of the new school year. Anja’s taking her anger out on the pottery wheel. I can smell the freshly-sharpened pencils from here. Or perhaps it’s just the August rain, wrinkling the foreheads of sun lovers, creating warm puddles on the pavement, telling us it went by in a blink.
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Week 33: Landing
The first week back at work is fairly quiet, I even found myself on the verge of boredom at one point. Organically, this makes me feel bad, but I remind myself that weeks before and after holidays tend to have this effect on my life. I tell myself I’m just landing. No one can convince me the municipality of Amsterdam isnāt using major construction projects to show tourists how crap the city can be. -
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Norway et al
After two weeks in Scandinavia, it’s clear: we are both too Dutch for proper recycling. Secretly hoarding our trash to avoid a reprimanding from our AirBnb host as he hovers over his six-compartment recycling bin, we continue our trip from rural Sweden to Copenhagen looking for a public recycling station. “Imagine if we got so nervous about doing it wrong that we ended up just dumping these bags by the roadside” I say to Anja. -
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Trash bags on the garden table as we were rushing out to beat Storm Hans. Flash was on and it shows: this picture doesn’t do anything for anything.
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So, about this Scriptogr.am
I am notorious for never grasping how many people know how much about what. To save myself from any further embarrassment I won’t spend my time here telling you what the app is about. The team does that nicely over here. I do think I have something to say about what Scriptogr.am came exactly at the right time for me. As we more further down the line of Web 2.0 and slowly into the abyss that is Web 3. -
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View from the cabin in Gol, Norway. Gorgeous colors, just like the previous one.
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For posterity, Iām archiving here that the non-player character streaming trend on TikTok is an example of why I love the weird-but-itās-ours Internet.
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What Pride means to me in 2023
Nienke, Mehdi, an anonymous friend, and I attend the annual Pride March. It’s the city’s first two-week Pride festival in Amsterdam, each week organized by a different organization. With a naturally intersectional and radically-inclusive interpretation of the term “queer”, I am pleased Queer Amsterdam is taking care of the annual Pride Walk. On Friday, I tell colleagues over office drinks why we still need Pride. The fact that I had to write “an anonymous friend” instead of the name of a person I love and admire illustrates my point beautifully. -
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Hey Desi love, hope you’re well! As promised, here’s that overview of handy UX things:
- You should sign up for ADPList, a platform that offers free one-on-one mentoring with all kinds of folks. They have handy filters in place to help you identify the questions you have, and how you can best answer them with a mentor.
- Some thought leaders that I love: NN Group, UX Matters, StƩphanie Walter (specialized in enterprise products like me), UX Collective, and UX Planet. Career Foundry and Interaction Design Foundation have great blog articles as well.
- An example of a designer who knows how to create a good case study is Buzz Usborne
Let’s use tomorrow to go into some more detail about how to put together a portfolio!
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The blonde
At the end of the shopping street for people who look like they do in the magazines thereās a blonde marching in place waiting for the light to turn green. She is not running per se, rather sheās hinting at running. Selling it, the way Charlize Theron sells a night to remember in a perfume commercial with next to nothing for evidence. Me, a tired mother, and a tennis player with wet hair -
Finally we have them over to the house again, for the first time in what feels like a human life. One walks in smiling, the other bursts out in tears. āSheās pregnantā I think to myself. Iām right. For whatever godforsaken reason I see her as a submarine now. We talk without pausing, picking up from what could have been yesterday.
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Week 27: Haven
This week, I attended my first Gerimedica party. Itās great to know I can expect a big celebration every year, and not just for the companyās sweet sixteen. It confirmed what I already know: great vibe, great taste, great people. I went to Bar Bario on Saturday for a meet-up called Hair Haven, which fosters connection between people with curly hair. Again, I was struck by how welcoming the space is. -
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Liked https://webmention.rocks/test/1
Using proper
in-reply-to
mark-up this time around. Note for Elliott and myself: I think I was mistaken about the Netlify build plugin not working. -
Testing a simple webmention by talking to webmention.rocks' Discovery Test #1.
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Hey Ornella, as promised a small introduction into the world of personal knowledge management (PKM):
- PKM helps us collect, classify, save, search, find, and share information
- By taking atomic notes and densely linking them we can come to new ideas
- There are many PKM tools available, each very advanced and functionality-rich in their own way
- The easiest, and cheapest, way to get started with PKM is by downloading Obsidian
- You may want to download their Windows app
- If you use a cloud service like Dropbox, you can easily back up your notes
- I think you may enjoy this article on PKM for researchers
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Liked https://christianbuehlmann.com/a-mon-sujet-english/
I’m humbled by learning that my words are the introduction of someone else’s biography.
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It feels clichĆ© to phrase it like this, but I feel I witnessed a historic Keti Koti ceremony today, with a surprisingly genuine request for forgiveness by our king. It was a good year for me to finally understand my place in a holiday thatās part mine and part not. The ceremony made up for the hour-long wait in the half rain to get a sandwich for someone who had already gone home. Wan switā manspasi!
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Week 26: Keti Koti
Two months of onboarding have rushed by in a blink. The new job is absolutely wonderful: the people are great, the work is complex and important, and the office itself is perhaps the finest I’ve ever worked at. I joined this company because the challenges they have seemed interesting to me. I’m very pleased that, two months in, it’s difficult to think that, at one point in time, these challenges weren’t also mine. -
Hey Elliott, so lovely to have you over for coworking this afternoon! I love the way you think about UX; your artistic perspective is so valuable for the Internet and for web design, and you always make me see things from a new angle. Aside from the links I already shared with John and Maarten on June 23rd, here’s some stuff I love:
- Jason Cosper inspired me to get rid of my About page.
- Agile and Scrum are quite complex, and multi-interpretable, but Nielsen Norman Group has a few nice resources.
- When it comes to extraversion and “people-person”-ness, I think the UX industry is quite a good fit for those who aren’t those things. Like I said, your ability to create an icebreaker on the fly isn’t half as interesting as your ability to figure out what UX method can answer a specific question. This reminds me of a talk I attended at UXInsights Festival 2022, which wasn’t about this topic per se, but about making UX research accessible for neurodivergent UX professionals. You might like it!
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Hey John and Maarten, thanks for meeting me for coffee! I loved nerding out with you two about IndieWeb stuff, personal sites, the red ThinkPad belly button, and what personal web projects we’re working on. As promised, here’s a list of things I wanted to share with you:
- A few IndieWeb people I like (who are involved in the community in various degrees) are Simone Silverstroni, Manuel Moreale, Mu-An Chiou, Derek Kedziora, and Elliott Cost, the latter two of whom live in Amsterdam as well.
- The friendly PhD candidate we met is Ornella Porcu.
I’ll spend some time in the next few weeks cleaning up my site. I’ll probably also try to establish some form of digital garden again.
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We all live in a white submersible
I love a good media drama. Like a moth to a flame, or perhaps more accurately like a fly to dog poo, I am drawn to it. I check the news multiple times a day. I scoff at outlets that don’t deem it worthy of the front page. I also scoff at outlets that do. A media drama can antagonize me the way Adele disappoints me with her popularity. The fact that Iām part of a Titanic/Titanic-obsessed gaggle of netizens somehow has me convinced I’m not just procrastinating. -
While walking to grab coffee, my colleague tells me about the peculiarities of his seventeenth-century hat making ancestors, proud of the genealogical research his dad has done. After work, I google āTrans-Atlantic slave tradeā, looking to see if I can spot my fatherās generic colonist surname among those who made it back to his island. I canāt, of course.
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Past midnight, I look for me in the yellow shirt on a Paris high street, next to you and I think Iām crying a bit. Mid-steak I jumped up from my chair, shouted your moniker at the top of my lungs, and we talked about the Internet, mental health, about women writing, about Paris, and how beautiful and odd it was that I knew so much about two kids I would never meet. I canāt find the picture now in the digital chaos, but I do find a little monster lurking in the shadows. Oh Heather, how terrified youāve made me of the word relapse. How truly spectacular it was to know you the way I did.
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Reading a book on Bijlmer Bajes (a famous Amsterdam prison), and Iām chuckling at the architectās decision not to add bars to the windows, but instead rely on āwire alarmā in the glass. Obviously it resulted in a lot of prison breaks, but what fascinates me is that the user story changed completely from a prison guard aiming to keep a prisoner from breaking out to them aiming to be alerted to a breakout attempt.
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Dear Nienke, you should have a website
Every time I embark on a journey towards a published post about why it’s good to have a website, I get lost in the reality of personal details. Everyone has different reasons for believing something. Aiming to take them all into account doesn’t help me write anything that feels worthwhile and not like a derivative1. It feels much more relevant to focus my attention on specific people. In this case I’m focusing my attention on you, Nienke. -
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Maker's marks for King's Day
It’s late in the morning and I’m on my way to Gerimedica, the company’s I’m excited to be joining in May, which is next week already. I’m on my bike listening to an American podcast about the history of Dutch anarchist cycling culture.1 The scene could only be more Dutch if I had a frying pan with bitterballen on the back of my bike. The commute is wonderful: it takes me from the East side of Amsterdam via De Pijp and Vondelpark to perhaps the most beautiful building I’ve ever had the privilege of calling my office. -
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Enjoying Sunday night dinner with Anja and my father-in-law. As of recent, weāve been experimenting with taking it down a notch, food-wise. Rather than wowing guests with eight hours of cooking time, we now feel much more comfortable cooking a few dishing and ordering stuff we love. Today, our Middle Eastern menu was complemented by dishes from D&A.
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One skill Iām pleased to have been cultivating these past few years is giving myself a permission slip to rest. I just woke up from a two-hour nap and boy, the world is a new place. Anja clearly remembers the dragon I would turn into whenever I was in need of a nap or just waking up from one. As though I would need to punish myself for having taking a break. Now, itās a mere drop in an ocean of post-nap ecstasy for me.
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Iām now writing these notes using an Apple Shortcut (as inspired by Mu-An. Itās a great way to publish IndieWeb content without having to do any special magic. Setting up this posting strategy has helped me evaluate how I handle notes on this website. My writing often contains short, daily reflections, but it may be worthwhile to move that to this section. Then I can reserve the writing area for longer-form content. Derek Kedziora is great at that, maybe Iāll see if I can be, too.
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Come back to Chigaco
Spring is here, I think? I spend the afternoon in the park with ex-colleague-turned-friend Susan, who is celebrating landing a new and challenging job. There’s a boy in the park who’s walking around barefoot. Later we see him on a slack line. I like this scene; it tells me that summer is almost upon us. I never seem skilled at enjoying whatever season is here. Instead I’m forever yearning for what’s just out of reach. -
Anja's ceramics course
Today, Lemonade and I visited Studio Pansa Amstel, where Anja has spent the last seven Sundays learning how to work a ceramics wheel. It’s quite the adventure for her, and I love seeing her dive into a new field that’s so different from her day-to-day life and work. Their motto is “dirty hands, clear mind”, and that certainly seems to be the case for Anja. I saw dozens of gorgeous little cups in the making, each with a unique maker’s mark and the intricate details only found in things that were crafted by hands. -
Meeting Yana and DJ
What I love most about today’s snapshot is the despair I can see in Lemonade’s eyes even when her entire body is a background blur. DJ is a calm 12-year-old dog, and Lemonade was thrilled to see another dog in our home for the first time, but her energy level was high enough that I eventually brought her back to her crate. It was right in time, too, because the afternoon light filling the living room made for a nice little portrait. -
The cat
Life sure is different now that we’ve gotten Lemonade on a proper walking schedule. She still feels most comfortable going potty on the puppy pads we have on our balcony, but she absolutely loves going out and exploring the neighborhood. I’m surprised by how well she walks on a loose leash, and how few issues we’ve had with the stuff she puts in her mouth. I’m hoping to make most use of her imprint period, and that means familiarizing her with as many different things as possible. -
Eight of ten
When I first set foot in the Old Catholic Church to attend an All Saints service, I knew I had found a special place. Today is the third time I make it to their service, which is always on the second Sunday of the month. It just so happens that this second Sunday falls on Easter, and it’s perhaps because of this that the service is more crowded than previous times. -
A very Mathilde visit
Much like last year, I’m so excited for Mathilde to visit our house that I get a headache just thinking about it. We’ve known each other 23 years, and, by miracle, our friendship is both acclimatized to our adult lives and as full of energy and curiosity as it was when we met in our first year of secondary school. She comes bearing gifts: seeds for the garden, dyke poetry, David Sedaris. -
Showing up not knowing what will happen
I met Shervin at the coffee place this morning. We know each other very casually; we used to frequent the same co-working space, we’re LinkedIn friends. He has one of those faces that you just want to meet with a smile. We exchange how life is treating us, what we’re doing at work. He tells me about his side projects, and how one of them is an invite-only meetup where you attend without knowing what you’ll be doing. -
Archiving my previous Now entry from December 13, 2022.
- In Amsterdam simultaneously enjoying and dreading the cold
- At Leeruniek thoroughly enjoying solving design and mentoring challenges
- Preparing for our corgi puppy
- Invested in my yoga and meditation practice
- Teaching myself, once and for all, to play the piano
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Week 11: Meeting Patrick
I got to meet one of my Internet heroes this week: Patrick Rhone and his family were on a Europe trip, and I was lucky enough to catch the planning stage on his blog right in time to extend an invitation. We spent a rainy Monday evening in de Jordaan at Cafe de Tuin, talking ye olde Internet productivity culture, the arts, politics, hopes and dreams, and how his teenage daughter apparently woke up one night singing “raise a glass to freedom”. -
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A phone call with an old friend
Happiness today is the ease with which the nun gives me his phone number. Paul is an old friend, or really an old friend of my ex, and we haven’t spoken in eight years. I had emailed him late last year, missing our kitchen table conversations over coffee and cigarettes. His enormous house, a former school, functioning as his private art studio / gallery. He had replied right away, saying “my phone number is still the same”. -
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Week 10: Outings
It snowed a few times this week and I was as baffled as I always am to see it happening in March. I don’t have a great understanding of what the weather’s supposed to do in a given period of the year. After two weeks of cocooning, we’ve finally been taking Lemonade out to various places. I aim to take her out at least once a day, usually to the park or a walk around the block. -
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Playing the piano is helping me put some puzzle pieces in the right place. Iāve always had the ability to reproduce the pitch of a song, but it wasnāt until I began playing the piano that I now seem able to identify the key by name. It may seem silly or small, but thatās a game-changer for me. It makes me feel that I can put everything together now; as though Iāve come full circle.
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Two weeks with a dog
Lemonade, Lemonade, Lemonade. Who knew I would ever become a dog person? Two weeks ago, we picked up our corgi Lemonade Zelda LoulƩ. There was a torrent of research both Anja and I did to prepare for this puppy. There was a birth announcement card. A godmother was appointed. Here are some things I learned after two weeks with a dog. The ROI of good research Anja and I are both blessed with a-type personalities and a propensity for thorough investigation. -
Liked https://beyondrange.wordpress.com/2016/08/03/pic-de-finestrelles-pic-gaspard-ecrins-443-km/
I was pleased to find out just now that the longest distance between two things on Earth ever photographed is a whopping 443 km. Photographer Mark Bret was in the Pyrenees when he was able to photograph the Alps. (Via Marnanel)
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I love this essay, Simone. Fully embracing the very IndieWeb concept of a personal website has helped me shake this feeling of FOMO, I imagine the same way it did for you. Don’t be hard on yourself, though, we all fell for this concept, and many of us still do. If society presents something as a way to solve a problem, most people will eventually try it. And while it does solve some problems, it also creates others. I have a few Gen Z friends who never fail to make me feel old whenever they talk about “their personal brand” in an unironic way. Gives me the shivers.
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All Saints Amsterdam
She blesses Anja, me, and a handful of other people who carved out time in their Sunday evenings to come to Church. I have never been inside this particular church building before, and chuckle at how new the Old Catholic decor is: in imagery and candle lighting possibilities it’s reminiscent of the average Dutch Roman Catholic church. Its white walls and central heating tell me something different. You may think I chose this church because the woman blessing us is Desmond Tutu’s daughter, the Reverend Canon Mpho Tutu van Furth, and because Anja and I can’t help but fangirl. -
Saturday morning routines
Living in a good neighborhood has many advantages. One of them is that it makes me want to spend a lot of time there. Saturday morning is very likely my favorite day in the neighborhood. I get up, without an alarm, around 6:30, engage in some morning writing, and fanny around the house for a bit. I take a shower at 7:45, and walk to my favorite coffee place at 08:20. -
If you still needed convincing that I’m Grandma Tech at home, struggling to use even the most straightforward of functionalities, please be aware that I was today years old when I learned that, five years ago, TextExpander released a custom iOS keyboard that would’ve solved so many of my mundane problems, and all I was doing was asking myself “why am I even paying for that app anymore?”
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I’m quite excited at the prospect of an impromptu, Kimberly Hirsch-is-in-the-Netherlands-inspired IndieWeb meet-up.
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Listening to act two of This American Life’s episode The Runaround, in which we meet a boy who can only really calm his mind by running loops around the block, I can’t help but wonder: it’s beautiful to see a young problem-solver with ADHD make life easier for himself, but were there other people who thought of the compensatory behaviors often displayed by people with an eating disorder?
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Walking with Annelie
Walking with Annelie is coffee indoors today. We’ve told each other we need to go on more walks. She asks if we should dress warmly for the cold, wet park, or if we should just grab a table inside. Normally at this hour, Coffee Company is packed to the brim with digital nomads, so “dress for cold, hope for warmth” I say. Miraculously, there are two tables from which we can choose. -
That was January 2023
January flew, flew by, I tell you. We started with “wow, 2023 already, let’s have a chill time this year, hey what’s on Netflix?” and at the time of writing everything is different: Things are not chill, because we’re preparing ourselves, our lives, and our house for our first-ever puppy Both our work lives are unexpectedly bustling and busy We cancelled Netflix I’ve been saying for years that I’d be willing to pay 100 euros a month for a single, all-encompassing international streaming platform. -
Why doesn't the crosswalk work?
There’s a woman who runs a bookshop in De Bijlmer. She has kind eyes that make you want to curl up with a book and a cup of tea. Often when I’m there, she offers just that: tea, and a place to quiet down and dive into an interesting title. She’s running a fine business over there, Cole Verhoeven is. Aside from bookshop owner she’s also a writer. I love the work she does at One World, where she articulates strong perspectives on antiracism and equity. -
Dog park
My attempt to lure both Anja and myself outside for some fresh air and a walk was thwarted as soon as I learned the place was out of my favorite bubble tea. We strolled to Flevopark, in my hand an ice cream cone, and on my face the disappointment of a toddler who canāt be satisfied. The park has a wide field that allows loose dogs to roam freely in the off-season. -
āLove Actuallyā, once again
We had two friends over today. Theyāre dear to me specifically because we got to know each other intimately during our eating disorder recovery. We promised weād one day get together and watch Love Actually, much-beloved by each of us. Iāve developed a habit of watching this film at least once a year. Despite its soft romcomness, homogenous cast, and general lack of depth it has taught me volumes on relationships. -
Super-recognizer
On occasion, Anja will compliment me on my ability to recognize people. I donāt know when I first noticed it myself, but there are actors I recognize even if they played minor characters in an episode of a show I watched 15 years ago. Or I might point out that woman I saw on the bus before COVID hit to a confused Anja. Iām learning itās not a very common trait because of the scoffing sound I make whenever Anja confuses Keira Knightly and Daisy Ridley, or Michelle Pfeiffer and Meg Ryan. -
Prospective dog owners
Iām in that supremely annoying stage of prospective dog ownership where I casually interrogate dog owners at parties, curious about their petās behavior and the techniques employed, and then silently judge them for their mistakes, exchanging contemptuous glances with Anja in the process. -
The game show
This morning I got acquainted with the immigrant anxiety felt by Chinese-American journalist Jiayang Fan about her desire to speak accentless English. In an episode of one of my favorite podcasts, This American Life, Jiayang participated in a game show designed around a talent she claims to possess: the unique ability, inspired by her anxiety, to tell at what age a Chinese-American person came to the United States. The show gave her recordings of three people to prove herself. -
Foreboding
Sometimes, when bad news arrives, I think to myself “argh, just when I was beginning to think life was nice and steady!” Today is one of those days. I’m immediately thrown off, though mostly by the scenarios playing out in my head. Not because of the particular fact of which I learn. I’m disappointed by the rediscovery of life’s unsteadiness. At the same time, there’s beauty to be found. After all, there have been times in my life when I’ve been so anxious that bad news wasn’t an interruption, but a confirmation of what I already thought I knew. -
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The art of music theory
In a few days, I’ll hit my one-month mark on the piano. When I bought it and began playing, I made sure to keep an open mind about how I learn best; not following any particular method, but tailoring practices to my interests, speed, challenges, and desires. One learning strategy that always works best for me is a top-down approach. With the piano, there’s great benefit in playing music from sheets (of which I’m capable), but I could tell something had been missing. -
`alt` text culture
More than any other time in my online life am I aware of the value of alt text. I make a point to write image descriptions whenever I can. Kind strangers with a variety of accessibility needs have been helping me understand how to best capture my interpretation of an image. I’ve come to regard alt text as the secret side bar I get to have with blind people and others who need it. -
Everything about the dog
Have you heard? Anja and I are getting a dog. It was up in the air for a little while, but we got the confirmation yesterday that we’ll get first pick of a nest of eight adorable little Pembroke - Cardigan corgi mixes. We’re meeting the puppies for the first time on Sunday. Are you crying? I’m crying. 2022 showed me that there are serious drawbacks to being an A type personality. -
'The Whale' for scale
In one of the many jubilant reviews garnered by Darren Aronofsky’s latest film The Whale, one writer concluded that we shouldn’t judge a book by its cover. This was in reference to the morbidly obese main character who eventually dies, but not before we find out he developed an eating disorder out of grief. Here was a fat man who evidently had feelings despite his exterior. Ironically, I find myself doing just what the writer suggested I don’t: judge the film before I’ve seen it. -
Weird movies
I have a feeling 2023 will be the year for weird movies that steal our hearts. Look at Triangle of Sadness and White Noise. Here you have two high-budget oddball films that I’d describe not as mumblecore but coastercore, pulling you from one weird subnarrative into another, not really making up their minds about what they are, and before you’ve formed a full opinion on it, the ride is over, but you loved it. -
Week 51: The piano
Happy Hanukkah and/or Christmas to those who celebrate! Even though our house is (reluctantly) multi-religious, we forgot just about every tradition we were ever taught for this time of the year. On Hanukkah Eve, Anja said “where are the tea lights?”, but we had no luck finding them to produce a makeshift chanukiah. Probably for the best. I don’t mind that we didn’t put up a Christmas tree, but I did find myself missing our outrageous ornaments. -
Week 47: Booster
I forgot how the COVID booster can make you feel as though, temporarily, the world may well be ending. I got it earlier this week, and it left me with a sore arm and that dreadful, ridiculous sensation that accompanies a flu that lasts a week too long. I mimic my late stepfather, who used to wimper like a puppy whenever he got a cold. I still do well to limit my hours of screen time. -
Notes on my web mastery
Recently, I’ve been making some great progress with my personal website. While I normally don’t engage in technical ballets on the goings-on of this website, I feel it’s relevant to document what I’ve learnt and done, if only for posterity. Tools Jekyll: as is often the case for me, this site is built using my favorite flat-file content management system Github: hosts the code for this website Netlify: serves the content to my website Obsidian: I write in a single Obsidian vault obsidian-git: helps me manage the version control of my Obsidian content Push git subdirectory as branch: a Github action that lets me publish a part of the content of my Obsidian vault to a separate repository Git submodule: my separate repository is pulled into my website’s code base Netlify build hook: every day, Netlify looks for new content and publishes it to my website Why this is great I hold the strong belief that tools don’t matter. -
Week 44: Coat
The weather has officially reached a temperature that requires me to buy a new coat. I dread it. Unlike most other types of clothing, coats and jackets never seem to suit me, regardless of the style. To soften the blow of having to order several coats on the Internet hoping one will work for me, I granted myself three sets of retro socks. I finished reading The Midnight Library, which I had borrowed from Annelie. -
Week 16: Springtime holidays
Each year I’m less embarrassed to say it: I don’t like that stretch of time during the Dutch Springtime when no work week is normal. Aside from the usual Christian holidays there’s King’s Day and Liberation Day, and I’ve found it really messes with my head. I don’t mind them much looking ahead (like I did last week, but having to live through it could well be too much for me. -
Week 15: Ironic
Brushing my teeth on Friday morning, I think about the weekend ahead, secretly complaining that my social engagements will keep me from getting the rest I need. Then I remember Easter Monday. The true marker of my mid-thirties is the excitement I feel at the prospect of a bed, and nothing but it. I hold a baby this week, one of my favorite ones. His face has two states that exist simultaneously: the one of utter shock and surprise only newborns can have, and the one that reminds you that babies know everything about the world and forget it as soon as they start to speak. -
Week 13: Recruiting
It has been snowing in Amsterdam. As the years go by, I’m having trouble understanding whether I’m experiencing the effects of global warming, or whether I’ve never paid attention to what was always in front of me until now. It is likely a combination of the two. Either way, it is sad to see Amsterdammers retreat into their homes after two weeks of shorts and drinks in the sun. At work Leeruniek’s Product team is hiring, and I’ve been the one taking care of the recruitment process for two engineering and one design role. -
Week 12: Bonsoihoir
The tourists are back in town. Lots of Germans with face masks. I suppose we’re all beginning to venture out into the world again, just a bit closer to home. Anja and I are considering taking the ferry to Norway. Apparently you can camp virtually anywhere in that country, as long as you “leave it cleaner than you found it” and make sure you’re gone after two days. At this point, we’re vastly underestimating how attached we are to luxury. -
Overheard in July
“Do you want this problem to get smaller or bigger?” “I still love you, but I’ll be doing it from behind this line.” “Blaue Augen sind besser als braune Augen” (“Blue eyes are better than brown eyes”, 10-year-old brown-eyed German boy to his blue-eyes brother at the Okura Hotel breakfast bar) -
A believable truth
I never get much reading done unless I’m sleeping elsewhere. Most often, I associate sleeping elsewhere with having time off, and having time off means I’m away from a computer screen. This frees up time for reading. Anja had booked a suite for my birthday at Okura, and six months after I turn 33, Covid measures are finally so mild that we actually get to do it. It’s on the sixteenth floor, overlooking the Amsterdam Centre and West Side. -
The old sharing
I am nostalgic about the way the Web used to be. I miss the handcrafted blogs that I used to visit, and the intimate windows they gave me into the lives of strangers. I miss that I knew all the domain names by heart. It is a phantom pain of sorts; an unrest in the tip of my fingers reminding me I no longer need to make series of key combinations to find those personal public spaces, some more arts-and-craftsy than others, because most of them are gone. -
When Jesus sent out his Twelve
This was written as part of Vine & Fig’s Sunday Scripture reflection project. When Jesus sent out his Twelve, He told them: āWhatever place does not welcome you or listen to you, leave there and shake the dust off your feet in testimony against them.ā If youāre not welcomed, not listened to, quietly withdraw. Donāt make a scene. Shrug your shoulders and be on your way. Last week, a friend of ours in the Vine & Fig community asked me to proofread a letter. -
Weekend vibes
Her Summer break started yesterday, and as always it is an event. I am so excited about getting everything right that I mostly present as a frantic killjoy. Jeopardy makes everything better. I start today with my usual bike route past the bakeries. Niemeijer for pain au choc and canelĆ©s, followed by tiger buns and krentenbollen at Simon Meijssen. Niemeijer won best croissant of Amsterdam, but I think they’re too bready. -
Meditating while Black
The other day, as I was speaking about a group of queer Black designers of which I’m a part, a White lesbian asked me: “when does a group exist just so a bunch of outcasts can commiserate about their shared otherness? I mean, could someone like me join?” “Great questions,” I said, “my response is identical to what you would say if someone went ‘why do you need lesbian bars? You don’t see me going to a straight bar, do you? -
Kind agents
The weather is great, infection rates are down, and the Dutch government loosened Covid restrictions. Masks are no longer required in public indoor spaces. I’m at Basquiat waiting to catch up with a friend, and an Irish woman strikes up a conversation. “I like to sit here late in the afternoon to watch the sun set between the buildings. I can’t take much sun, I have Irish skin, you know.” -
3 years sober
On May 2, 2018, as we got off the plane from Stockholm, completing our visit with Anneli and Milan, I said calmly to Anja: I think I may try not drinking for a week or so. Nothing dramatic had happened in Stockholm. We had just returned from a midweek staying with friends in the city, followed by a couple days at a cozy cabin in the woods. It was my first time meeting these friends and they are wonderful people: two kind-hearted, curious journalists and their young daughter. -
What Black Lives Matter teaches me
I am a Black person with privilege My privilege makes me uncomfortable I don’t want to think about racism My childhood experiences did more damage than I realized There are so many things I’ve said “yes” to that required a “no” -
Week 15: Streak
I am on a 33-day streak picking my teeth before bed. I’ve designed a temptation bundle, pairing the activity with a few minutes of garbage television. During these days, I’ve made it through two seasons of Love After Lockup and six seasons of Sister Wives. It shouldn’t surprise you that my watching habit has extended well beyond the time it takes me to pick my teeth. Earlier this week I decided to tone it down and return the temptation bundle to its original intention. -
Morning habits
One thing I appreciate is my growing ability to understand how small choices affect the quality of my day. I have a history of struggling with doing things that are good for me, and while I’ve always known that certain things have a more positive influence than others, I wasn’t always able to execute on them. Lately, I’ve been tinkering with the way I organize my mornings. I’ve come to understand that, in order for me to have a good day, I need to incorporate, in this particular order: -
Call me 'she' but not 'woman'
The world beyond the gender binary is vast and diverse. As a queer facilitator, I’ve come to appreciate the value of writing my pronouns behind my name when it shows up in a video call or on Slack. It makes it easier for people to be good allies to those of us who have come to use pronouns they weren’t assigned at birth. As a non-binary person, one of the choices I have had to make was on the topic of pronouns. -
Aging: part one
When I was a child, no physical activity brought me more delight than inline skating. I had a wonderful pair of skates; silver, neon pink, and teal, snuggly fitting my feet. I felt limitless on those wheels, cruising all around the neighborhood, learning tricks in the grocery store parking lot, and distance skating past farms and fields. For the past five years, I’ve been telling myself that I should get a new pair of skates. -
Films about White people
Sometimes I feel that I am a bad Black girl because whenever my white girlfriend and I sift through Netflix Prime Video or anything with a reasonable trial period and she says “let’s watch this movie or that” featuring Black stories I instead elect to watch a white narrative because it’s nice to forget about racism and the teacher who called me a monkey and the no one who called him -
Week 2: Home office
I’m terrible at keeping it a secret: my favorite time in the week is when A works from home. We spent the past month building a home office in a one-bedroom apartment, and I’m happy about the result. Monday is Uni day for her. I find it endearing that her Statistics course is throwing her for a loop a little bit. “Work is so great!” I think to myself on Tuesday. -
Family, or notes from the battlefield
As soon as she hands you the gift you know itās another one āTrans Life Survivorsā says the cover āMerry Christmas!ā says your sister you have only been using they/them pronouns in private for a year or so itāll look so beautiful next to the ex-gay book your other sister presented to you on your birthday last month At family dinner you spend bathroom breaks in your childhood bedroom five in total -
The end of cute
I have a friend who is so mad at the pandemic that he went on a six-day crack bender just to prove it “I’ve deleted the numbers of all my dealers as well as the man who changed my mind” he tells me His eyes reflect a me judging him for him and I am I have deleted numbers deleted apps food versions of my self myself “Also I saw your -
33 things
Below is a list of thoughts, opinions, ideas, and tips that I’ve gathered in my 33rd year on Earth. Working from home does wonders for my productivity and mental health I like the term “Torah-observant Catholic” for me Shaving my head has been one of the finest decisions I’ve made in life. I wish I could just answer ‘ Wit Huiswerk’ to most Dutch statements I hear about racism Got my first tattoo in June I listened to ‘ Girls’ by girl in red 208 times this year š¤¦š½ We got COVID-19 and it was terrifying, even without a hospital stay It’s very liberating to say “I don’t talk about that” when people ask small talk questions about my family or past This bolognese sauce from Smitten Kitch produces the best lasagna I’ve ever had I found a new job at a company that does great things for the world My favorite part of the pandemic, after Tiger King, was Trump’s campaign team sending out a newsletter every 40 minutes on Election day It’s okay This acoustic version of Mama Kin’s ‘Rescue me’ is so nice I don’t know how to speak with a Jewish family member who has become convinced that there is a satanic cabal injecting corona through 5G I will not forget the empty shelves Got my second tattoo in December I missed Paris in 2020 This pen is this year’s favorite My father died I bleached my hair I joined the leadership team of Vine & Fig and it is so very baller Ate Fluff for the first time My man Kit built and opened a restaurant I didn’t watch Killing Eve until now I’ve begun drinking decaffeinated coffee. -
Of bridges and neighbors
When I first learned that āpontifexā, Pope Francisā Twitter account, is Latin for ābridge builderā, I was entirely delighted. āHow wonderfulā, I thought, āthat our institution sees the value in a Pope who builds bridges between the Church and the rest of humanity.ā When I look at myself with kind eyes, I dare to see the ways in which I myself help build these bridges. As a queer facilitator, Iām part of the leadership team at Vine & Fig, a community for affirming LGBTQIA+ Catholics. -
Hell is other people
Let’s meditate on us scattered sheep today, shall we? After all, if not scattered, then what are we? It has become a running gag in our household. I will be reading the New York Times, shaking my fist at whomever is responsible for the failed separation of Church and State. Or perhaps I’m mad at those who think their Christian inclination allows them to dictate what happens in other people’s bodies. -
Goodbye Airtrade, hello Leeruniek
After five years of learning, falling on my face, making friends, and getting to know the travel industry, the time has come for me to say goodbye to Airtrade. This year, the travel industry took a huge blow, with many of the small and big clients we’ve acquired over the years in serious heavy water. What’s more, five years is a good run, wouldn’t you say? My next adventure is taking me even deeper into making tools for people at work, and I couldn’t be more thrilled. -
The benefit of discontent
If you are at all involved in queer Catholic Twitter, you know that last week was a riot. Cause cĆ©lĆØbre was an unexpected shout-out from Pope Francis: Pope Francis told a group of parents of L.G.B.T. children yesterday that āGod loves your children as they areā and āthe church loves your children as they are because they are children of God.ā ā America Magazine My timeline was flooded, and understandably so: the Catholic Church hasn’t profiled itself as a boundary-pushing institution on very many occassions. -
That time we were the first to get Covid
Amsterdam’s patient zero is a woman who just happens to have spent early 2020 in the north of Italy. She has a son who attends the high school which just happens to be Anja’s place of employment. Anja is the first person I know to be infected with Covid 19. I am the second. Working in travel technology, my experience of the outbreak of Covid 19 was colored by coworkers wondering by the water cooler what all the fuss was about. -
Clobber
This was originally published as part of the Vine & Fig “Pray Tell” project. She sounds quite chipper once she makes it to the telephone. āHey dear!ā it sounds. āHappy Motherās Day', I go. A few years ago, when I decided that I was going to transition into low contact mode with my mother, I couldnāt have imagined that Motherās Day was going to be like this. As many countries celebrate moms today, we remember that, on Motherās Day last year, we saw my stepfather leave for the hospital, never to return again. -
Welcoming Eleanor
Our friends gave birth to their first child, Eleanor! She was born on a trip east, and had to spend some time at the hospital. They sent us a wonderful photograph of her reaching out from her hospital crib. I simply had to commemorate. -
How to be Black
Steer clear of Adidas; obtain a degree in Dutch language and literature; wear my auntās glasses until I eventually need my own prescription; don’t eat fried chicken; proclaim I’m a fan of Michel Houellebecq; don’t go to a black hair salon; enrol in theological seminary; don’t listen to RnB; date a person blacker than me; date a person whiter than me; don’t eat watermelon; say I’m āaccidentally blackā because my mother met my father while on vacation and I missed by only an inch the opportunity to be born to a white father who was a doctor, by the way; eat bananas only after I cut them into bite-size chunks that I eat with a fork, just to make sure I donāt remind anyone of a monkey; don’t listen to rap music; learn difficult words. -
Women's March Amsterdam
Proudly nasty, I joined Anja, my mother-in-law Sauci, and millions of others around the world last Saturday to attend the Women’s March. Museum Square in Amsterdam was full of pussy hats, face paint, smiling faces, and righteous indignation. I don’t often attend protests, not in the last place because I’m cautious about negative media outlets that often ridicule protesters, but I loved being a part of this day. I have no idea what’s in store with this American presidency, but I imagine it can’t be very positive. -
She
“Slept a little, had a midnight snack, went in for a bathroom break. Slept some more. Basically the life of a four-year-old” she says, and she tells me about her flight to Stockholm. She has been sleeping poorly lately; I say “lately” but I only met her last month, so I don’t know what her sleep hygiene is, although she says “it has improved since I began falling asleep in your arms”. -
How to live for God
I’ve heard someone compare it to the relationship between a parent and a child. I imagine a child wanting to create a birthday card for his mother, opting to draw her portrait on the cover. Does that child draw a lifelike portrait of his mother? No, but it sure is endearing. I just want to draw the most beautiful portrait I can with the colors I got from my Mother. -
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Indian Summer Christmas
Christmas break is passing by me like it passes by an ambitious teenager. I greeted all the things I could do with great enthusiasm. Sadly, that feeling quickly turned into terror once I realised two weeks isnāt that long and I need to sleep. Productivity-wise, man can only fail under such conditions, this I know. Meanwhile, I keep being amazed by the weather in Haarlem. I managed to take some photos downtown last week that remind me of the beginning of September, despite a winter coat here and rain hat there. -
Sunday seeds
If you ever happen to find yourself in the sleepy fishing town of IJmuiden: the fish, service, atmosphere, and cheesecake in the fish restaurantĀ De MeerplaatsĀ are all very pleasant. For my birthday,Ā Erica BoumaĀ gave meĀ JesusĀ by rebel theologian Hans KĆ¼ng. Itās a great and easy read ā a recommendation for anybody interested in the history of Christianity. The Son and the StrangerĀ is a beautifulĀ Dutch-languageĀ documentary about Daan, a man who, after studying Hebrew in university, converted to the ultra orthodox Jewish faith. -
Commonplace book
Ryan Holiday describes the how and why of his āCommonplace Bookā, a collection of quotes and other pieces of text written down on index cards. I, too, have been keeping such a system since I started college. I always carry a few cards when Iām out and about, held together by bulldog clips. Incredibly handy and simple, it has turned out. -
That person
Remember those times when you were at the store, and as your mother went about her shopping, you were attracting attention to your little self by doing something foolish, bringing soft smiles to all the surrounding adults, except for this one asshole? I have a growing suspicion that I am that person. -
Things on which I have exactly no opinion
This is a list of things I truly have no opinion on. It’s not that I have a negative opinion and I’m just sugarcoating it by saying I don’t have one. These are things of which, when I think about them, I am baffled to know they don’t trigger any form of criticism or evaluation. Goldfish Superman Enya The Shawshank Redemption Christians The Alpes Game of Thrones Gangnam Hard towels Drug trafficking Tacos Ben & Jerry’s Disney World -
On keeping a journal
The only journal Iāve ever been able to successfully keep is a photo journal. Not so much the one-book or one-website type, but more so a simply collection of visual anecdotes, encounters and experiences. My first website was called www.doyoulikemytightsweater.com. It was a HTML-based one-photo-per-page website that I updated very frequently. Ever since the domain expired and I got a little sick of getting pervy emails (I should have known), I had never owned a photo website that I loved so much. -
Sounds of home
Yesterday, as I swiped through my digital September issue of Wired, I came across a bit that immediately swung me back right into my first year of high school. Presented on the page where a Nokia 3310, a 56k modem, a Dot-matrix printer, a Tube TV, and a Speak & Spell. It was a piece about the Museum of Endangered Sounds, a digital archive of sounds we all remember so, so well. -
Misanthropy anew
My friend Paul is a very wise man. Last week, as he drove O. and me home after a morning of catching up at the house / workshop / gallery / former school building in which he dwells, he said: I would love to have another life, just so I could spend it cursing at everything, and everyone. The negative character of this man is self-evident. He’s as much a misanthrope as he is an engaging full of life and stories. -
Reading list
Essex Country by Jeff Lemire Ergens Waar Je Niet Wil Zijn (Wrong Place) by Brecht Evens Box Office Poison by Alex Robinson Lucille by Ludivic Debeurme Swallow Me Whole by Nate Powell 120 Days of Simon by Simon GƤrdenfors Underwire by Jennifer Hayden The Playwright by Daren White and Eddie Campbell Any Empire by Nate Powell Lost Dogs by Jeff Lemire -
Weak
What is the deal with people and coffee? No, let’s try that again. What is the deal with people and dish water? Coffee1 these days. Is. Disgusting. A Starbucks recently opened in Utrecht, and to celebrate the occassion, a dear friend of mine, whom I hadn’t seen in two years, suggested we meet there for a pumpkin spiced whatever. Pat, I’d love to buy a middle finger. Or else perhaps just a question mark. -
Facts of week 42
I can remember what was taught in my Applied Linguistics class by the shirt my professor wore. My biggest secret is an unending fascination for the Momversation in which mommy bloggers discuss motherhood. Some people in my Dutch Language and Culture program are bad at spelling. All of them want to be writers. Times a day I realize I probably don’t want kids: 17. I’m terrified of failing University. During the day I’m scared, and when I’m not scared, I’m asleep. -
Considerations
It was indeed great while it lasted, until about three weeks ago. Churning out little posts, coming up with fun tidbits, roaming the streets of Eindhoven with a little noteback. Getting feedback. Compliments. Your mother’s cousins' daughters' coworkers are reading your blog. And then university life begins. And there is time for nothing. So here’s a change of strategy, and of pace. This website will be featuring different forms of content from now on. -
School supplies
I remember it well, my transition from elementary to high school. Gone were the old days of person teaching every subject in a single classroom. Everything would be new again. New subjects, new people, teachers, supplies. It was the supplies that kept me up at night. Books were to be given the right cover, of course there would have to be a new pencil case. New notebooks. A diary. Choosing was never my strong suit. -
On the misfortunes of yesterday
It’s Gay Pride today. Yesterday, as N and I were on our way to the cinema, somebody yelled “DYKES!” at us. I dislike such antics as much as the next gay. I don’t like the words “dyke” and “fag” and the stigma surrounding homosexuality. Since we’re alive in the modern world of 2009, I always fervently hope that people know better by now. I’m lucky enough to live in an environment with friends and family who support me. -
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How do I enter the Dutch UX job market
I’m a Dutch native and have held employment with Dutch companies from the moment I was allowed to work. While I do I have 17 years of experience in the Dutch UX market, there may be mentors better suited to help you navigate your leap to the Netherlands. When speaking about this with mentees, I always find myself coming back to the following: The process of finding a job is always related to where you are in your career journey. -
I'm a Christian
Here’s one fact that never fails to bring shock, surprise, confusion, or mild disdain into my conversations: I’m an active congregant of a Christian fellowship, and I do my best to follow Jesus. What’s more, I’m actually on the church board. I suppose the emotions this fact elicits stem from the understanding people have of me as a queer person of color who seems, at least to some degree, level-headed. -
I'm child-free
I’m a child-free person Resources Alexandra. (2024, March 2). Childfree.txt. The Library of Alexandra. -
I'm neurodivergent
Like many other people in the world, I fall under the neurodivergent umbrella. I know there are various ways of looking at what falls under it and what doesn’t, and that, too, goes for the label with which I come. I don’t enjoy using the label itself, so instead I’ll share something about what it means for my life: I like a puzzle: I’m blessed with complex curiosity, an appetite for learning, a deep love of problem solving, and an everlasting supply of questions I’m a skip-thinker, an analogical thinker, and a meta-thinker, which makes the previous point even more fun. -
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The rest is commentary
There’s a story about Hillel the Elder, one of the most central figures in Jewish religious literature. One day, a prospective convert approached him exacting an explanation of the Torah so short it could be delivered while the gentile stood on one foot. Only then they’d would be willing to embrace Judaism. Hillel the Elder, his legacy now famed for its clarity and conciseness, said something to the effect of: treat others the way you want to be treated, that’s the entire Torah, the rest is commentary. -
Tools do not matter
In my journey as a human with a personal computer, and more specifically as somebody who performs Knowledge work, I’ve developed a somewhat platform- and application-agnostic approach to computing. When I consider using a particular app or platform, I pay close attention to how it will let me work with the things I create. This has helped me keep my writing organized since 2005. Like everybody else I have tool preferences.